The Unconventional Proposal: How a TV Show Made Me Rethink Marriage
There’s something about a good romcom that can make you question everything—your life choices, your priorities, and apparently, your stance on marriage. For me, that moment came while watching Too Much, Lena Dunham’s 2025 Netflix series. I’ve been with my partner, Martin, for a decade, and we’ve always agreed on one thing: marriage wasn’t for us. Martin sees it as a tool of state control and a relic of patriarchy—arguments I’ve never been able to refute. But then, Jessica and Felix happened, and suddenly, I was dialing Martin’s number to propose. Over the phone. From my parents’ house.
What makes this particularly fascinating is how a fictional relationship can upend years of personal beliefs. Jessica, the chaotic protagonist, and Felix, her devoted yet flawed partner, embody a kind of love that feels both messy and authentic. Their wedding scene, set on the steps of a London town hall, is anything but traditional. Felix’s joke about how long they’ll stay married doesn’t cheapen the moment—it humanizes it. It’s a reminder that love isn’t about forever promises but about choosing each other, every day.
Personally, I think this is where Too Much gets it right. Marriage, as an institution, often feels like a trap—a legal contract masquerading as romance. But what if we strip it down? What if it’s just two people saying, “I choose you, today”? That’s what resonated with me. Martin and I have always chosen each other, but somehow, the idea of formalizing it felt different after watching that scene.
One thing that immediately stands out is how deeply personal our relationship to marriage is. For me, it was always about the fantasy—the white dress, the tiki torches, the grand ceremony. I’ve been planning my wedding since I was seven, long before I even knew what love was. Martin, on the other hand, dreads being the center of attention. His idea of romance is quiet and unassuming, which is why our wedding will take place in my parents’ kitchen, with no guests, no cake, and definitely no tiki torches.
What many people don’t realize is how much of our views on marriage are shaped by cultural narratives. The big wedding, the fairytale romance—these are stories we’ve been sold since childhood. But Too Much challenges that. It shows that love can be just as meaningful in its imperfections. Jessica and Felix’s relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s real. And in a world where perfection is the standard, that’s revolutionary.
From my perspective, the show also highlights the tension between tradition and modernity. Martin’s skepticism about marriage isn’t unfounded. Historically, marriage has been used to control women, enforce property rights, and uphold societal norms. But does that mean we have to reject it entirely? Or can we reclaim it, redefine it on our own terms? That’s the question I’ve been grappling with since my impromptu proposal.
A detail that I find especially interesting is how Felix’s character mirrors Martin in some ways. Both are the kind of men who love fiercely, even when their partners are, well, a bit much. Martin once wore a skull-and-crossbones neckerchief to cover up love bites—a detail that still makes me smile. There’s something endearing about a man who embraces the chaos, who loves you not despite your flaws but because of them.
If you take a step back and think about it, marriage is as much about self-definition as it is about commitment. By proposing to Martin, I wasn’t just asking him to marry me—I was redefining what marriage means to us. It’s not about the state, or the patriarchy, or even the wedding itself. It’s about acknowledging the life we’ve built together and saying, “Let’s keep choosing this.”
This raises a deeper question: What if more of us approached marriage this way? What if we stopped seeing it as a milestone and started seeing it as a daily practice? In a world where divorce rates are high and relationships are increasingly fluid, maybe the traditional model of marriage is outdated. Maybe what we need is a more flexible, honest version—one that acknowledges that love isn’t static but something we have to actively nurture.
What this really suggests is that marriage, like love, is what you make of it. For Martin and me, it’s not about the ceremony or the legalities. It’s about the quiet moments, the shared laughter, and the unspoken understanding that we’re in this together. Our wedding in September won’t be grand, but it will be ours. And for that, I have Lena Dunham to thank.
In my opinion, Too Much isn’t just a romcom—it’s a cultural commentary. It challenges us to rethink our assumptions about love, commitment, and tradition. It reminds us that romance doesn’t have to look a certain way to be valid. And for me, it sparked a conversation that led to one of the most important decisions of my life.
So, here’s to Jessica and Felix, to Martin and me, and to anyone who dares to redefine what love and marriage mean to them. Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what it’s all about? Choosing each other, flaws and all, and making it work—one day at a time.
